Communicate = talk or listen? Or, both!?

Are our conversation skills defined and polished?

When one speaks of or mentions 'communication skills' - have we wondered or questioned them, what exactly does that mean? Talk or listen? that explains the confusion of both the punctuation marks in the title - ! & ?

I am still confused as to what it stands for in others' viewpoint. Everywhere and anywhere, i am confronted with this nasty problem of communication. For whatever reason, our education system or curriculum perhaps doesn't emphasize and hence doens't cover this important aspect of grooming and literacy. it is not just about methods, but also manners. It is not about respect but also dignity. It is not just about confidence but also assertiveness. It is not just about politeness but also simplicity. Well, I can go on endlessly. 

For once, i am glad that i have self-learnt these extremely important, oft ignored skills and in a balanced manner. I have observed both sides of communication - good and bad [or best and worst]. I wasn't too good either, but trained myself, groomed myself, tutored myself and trust me, it was hard work for sure. It took days, hours and years of investment of energy as well as time. But i would say more than that, it was interest and the willingness to learn and not make those mistakes

It is not just verbal but also gestural. It is not just physical but also subtle. It is not just oral but also written. It is not just spoken but also "listening"!! Listening! How can one overlook the signinificance of hearing and listening - which requires energy as well as alertness. Listening is one 'skill' [i would say] that i observed very few people inhabiting and implementing. These are serious issues that need to be addressed to. Evidently, nearly all of our so-called conflicts arise out of not listening properly or not even willing to listen. When we listen, [i follow this "mantra"] we MUST be "SILENT"! Period. There is really no substitute to being silent when we are listening! 

Come to think of it - if we throw away the false egos that we carry and actually listen [even for personal benefit] calcute how much knowledge one would acquire just by listening. Well, let me be very blunt, this will take a lot of ego cruching, but look at it this way - it is my own self-moto driven behind this. When i change my perception toward this, with a turn of the vision handle, and focus it to another point, this is what appears: let me listen to this person or arguement and see if i can learn something for personal benefit; afterall, where do you get free learning! 

This is a cost-free learning. That reminds me - Happy Independence Day readers!!

Happy listening! 

......to continue soon