Communicate = talk or listen? Or, both!?

Are our conversation skills defined and polished?

When one speaks of or mentions 'communication skills' - have we wondered or questioned them, what exactly does that mean? Talk or listen? that explains the confusion of both the punctuation marks in the title - ! & ?

I am still confused as to what it stands for in others' viewpoint. Everywhere and anywhere, i am confronted with this nasty problem of communication. For whatever reason, our education system or curriculum perhaps doesn't emphasize and hence doens't cover this important aspect of grooming and literacy. it is not just about methods, but also manners. It is not about respect but also dignity. It is not just about confidence but also assertiveness. It is not just about politeness but also simplicity. Well, I can go on endlessly. 

For once, i am glad that i have self-learnt these extremely important, oft ignored skills and in a balanced manner. I have observed both sides of communication - good and bad [or best and worst]. I wasn't too good either, but trained myself, groomed myself, tutored myself and trust me, it was hard work for sure. It took days, hours and years of investment of energy as well as time. But i would say more than that, it was interest and the willingness to learn and not make those mistakes

It is not just verbal but also gestural. It is not just physical but also subtle. It is not just oral but also written. It is not just spoken but also "listening"!! Listening! How can one overlook the signinificance of hearing and listening - which requires energy as well as alertness. Listening is one 'skill' [i would say] that i observed very few people inhabiting and implementing. These are serious issues that need to be addressed to. Evidently, nearly all of our so-called conflicts arise out of not listening properly or not even willing to listen. When we listen, [i follow this "mantra"] we MUST be "SILENT"! Period. There is really no substitute to being silent when we are listening! 

Come to think of it - if we throw away the false egos that we carry and actually listen [even for personal benefit] calcute how much knowledge one would acquire just by listening. Well, let me be very blunt, this will take a lot of ego cruching, but look at it this way - it is my own self-moto driven behind this. When i change my perception toward this, with a turn of the vision handle, and focus it to another point, this is what appears: let me listen to this person or arguement and see if i can learn something for personal benefit; afterall, where do you get free learning! 

This is a cost-free learning. That reminds me - Happy Independence Day readers!!

Happy listening! 

......to continue soon

Medical apathy - billing fraud!

Medical apathy – once again, a case in Bhayandar [fraud in medical billing]

My brother had approached this hospital for the expected treatment of his sick wife, who was down with chronic fever, body ache and typical symptoms of a viral fever. He came back and narrated his experience which appalled me, once again, at the dark intensity of the iron age. The disgust of hospitals, clinics, private practitioners and the whole medical system. Humans are no longer humans in purview of the so-called medical workmen. They are mere ‘objects’! Even though I know this, it’s not new to me, the mal-practices are too much loud to ignore; but still….i was disgusted upon learning of this utterly callous attitude and the seemingly ridiculous practices, so close to my home!

When they [the patients] checked into a 'Manavata Polyclinic', located at Kalpita Building, near NKGSB, Navghar Road, Bhayandar [E], all they hoped was to get well and come out a feeling better, lighter, having gotten rid of the disease that was haunting...All they got instead was a rude nasty shock in the form of the invoice for three days, for about 2-3 hours of admission per day. The planned process was that the patient would be administered doses intravenously and observed for a couple of hours and then discharged – this process was to be repeated for about 3-4 days for betterment. At the end of the second day when my brother asked for the bill, he was shocked in utter confusion. Nonetheless, he came back the next day, demanding explanation from the admin about the charges levied in the bill, upon which he was asked to wait to meet the doctor who was in-charge of the said hospital [a private clinic, too big to be a clinic]. Upon meeting the ‘doctor’, he was informed that these were minimum charges that they would have to pay if he wanted to ‘discharge’ the patient. What they didn’t know was that the person questioning them – my brother – was nothing short of a medical sales representative with years of experience under his belt. At being caught red-handed, the face of the doctor was drained and he tried to cover up. Behaving sheepishly, blushing with sheer embarassment and offense, the so called doctor had nowhere to go. 

This was what happened: for all the doses, syringes, needles, bottles, the clinic had charged upto 250% extra. For eg if a medicine cost 54/- they had billed the same vial for upto 200/-! [sick fellows]. Because we could find out the actual cost of a medicine [here the 54/- vial costs a medical sales person around 24/- lesser], they had to take back their bills. But what if a patient cannot find out actual costs? They would be cheated of their money! What kind of ‘business’ is this that people make out of sickness?? Not only that, for the syringes, needles, and other medicines that were given, the clinic charged a similar 200-250% extra! Even IF the patient comes out rid of the disease, what sense does it make to produce falsified and fake bills?? What kind of high-end facilities or infrastructure is the hospital providing to patients that will alleviate their pain & suffering? Nonsense!

Anyone else in my brother’s place could have easily escalated the matter and charged at the doctor like a bull for false practices! [I doubt at the authenticity of the so called doctor even! Anyway]. When he narrated this to me, little did he know this incident can be documented and made public! The said polyclinic is run by R.P. Palande – medical director [m: 9819250565] and Snehal Palande – ayurvedic doctor.

All that I want to convey through this post is, no matter what happens, no mater how much one suffers, you cannot flow your hard-earned money like this!! Physical suffering + mental harassment + emotional drain can only add up to verbal outburst which is what my brother did, when the doctor tried his best to calm him and ‘mutually settle’ the matter, so his ‘business’ does not get affected. I reprimanded my brother for not creating a ruckus so that all the other patients would be alerted of the mal practice.

We as patients approach a hospital, clinic or a medical professional with the hope that our suffering will be reduced, treated, putting our body and lives at their responsibility! What we don’t know is there are morally porn people who make money and business from corpses and also human shit!

I urge you all – who are reading – to think upon this and make yourselves vigilant and alert and not let these worthless ‘pigs’ suck our money from us! By writing this post, I intend to make people aware, alert and responsible citizens and save their lives and that of their kin. 

Toilet habits impact our work performance and ratings

"Toilet" training [adult learning!]

Imagine you have pressure building up deep inside your body and you are desperate to relive yourself. Your feet will automatically carry you toward the nearest ‘washroom’ [as we like to polish the title of the room – these-days]….but upon reaching there, you are forced to contract your muscles even longer and stress them….why? It is occupied. It is under scheduled cleaning. It is under repair. Not available. Worse still, left dirty by some uncouth user before. Lucky them, unlucky you. Either you must exhaust your bladder or you perform the dirty work yourself, after heartily abusing and cursing them! Now, they are unlucky! After doing the “job”, some may make the effort to hunt down the culprit and give them a piece of shit – from the mind! Yeah, well for a simple task of relieving one’s bladders, one has to slap the hat of an investigator at times on the head!

Would then we like it if someone else curses or abuses us if they fall under a similar situation? Would we like to be at the receiving end of a verbal shit? A curse or an abuse? Then what is stopping us from adopting hygienic, civilized, mannered and clean toilet habits? At home, in public, in office, in a hotel, a lodging, a hostel, shared accommodation, at a family function, anywhere? Don’t you frown and shrink your nose? Cringe? At the ghastly “sight”?

 These “uncouth unlucky despos” are found everywhere, or a circumstance may force you also to become one! Who knows, how ‘desperate’ is your ‘desperacy’? [duh]…once a person is “used” to being clean, couth and hygienic, the person cannot survive in a contrast environment. Microbiology experts claim that the density of pathogenic bacteria found on: cellphones, kitchen platforms, kitchen instruments, kitchen sink, dining areas is several times higher than the pathogens found on th rim of the toilet pot, toilet floor and wash-basin….why? Can we not challenge this theory / claim? Can we not negate this? Higher the presence of pathogens higher the rates of sickness and illness. Higher the intensity of human beings’ unhygienic habits, higher the multiplication and flourish of microbes and pathogens. This is not an under cover information. We all know it. Everyone knows it.

We are practically allowing the filth and dirt visible to our eyes, that which makes us frown, cringe and even has nauseatic effect on us, to enter our bodies, impact our health and disturb our biology. To cause us to fall sick! That which we hate to see, is going inside our body and we are okay with it. We don’t care, do we? We are quite ‘okay’ [read: acceptable] with our own colleagues unknowingly bitching about us candidly! No one knows who the “culprit/s” is/are!

Can we not adopt simple, but crucial hygiene habits? At home, work and other places we visit? Why are public toilets so filthy in our country? Why? If we care to keep our domestic toilet and bath clean, spick and span, why not the office toilets? How would we like it if our organization sacks us or fires us thanks to our unhygienic unhealthy manners? This filth, this dirt, this seemingly disgusting ‘ambiance’ that we ourselves create, gets straight into our heads. Creating the same impact on the mind. The mind impacts our behavior. Our behavior impacts our work. Our organizations monitors only our work, not the activities inside the toilets. But…..!! well!!

These toilet habits impact our performance at work….that which reflects on our CV!! Just imagine!! 

Human ‘resource’ or human ‘Being’??

Changing the outlook of recruitment by changing one’s attitude [intentions]

The role that a recruiting or hiring manager plays in any organization is most crucial. It can be a role essayed out within the organization that hires people or the mediating role of an agent that connects employers and employees. In the East, especially in India, the host and guest concept during recruitment processes is totally camouflaged. There is no hospitability, no warm greetings, no valuing human-individual, et al. Whereas, in the West, a potential employee is treated fairly and with dignity. With value as a human being. I was surprised when I came across an article on LinkedIn pointing out this fact. It is not a cake walk to be a mediator for job placement or to be a hiring agent! There needs to be an immense training and preparation that one needs to give to oneself – understanding of humans, social attitude, the courage to treat another - seemingly unemployed – individual with dignity, respect and fairness. The need to understand requirements, the sharpness to judge and to discern….treating others as valuable beings needs lots of determination & practice. It doesn’t come easily in one’s awareness, no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise.

In the last few months, of all the places I have been as a prospective employee, seeking jobs, or contracts etc. and also having worked as an entrepreneur myself, my sharp observations have taught me a lot! What is the correct way, what is not the correct way, etc. I have treated my clients with the respect due to them – moreso because I value myself – than looking at them as revenue builders for my enterprise. This is what makes the difference – and also pays in the long run; like I said, the attitude to respect comes with practice. Lots of.

Not everyone can be a recruiter or an employer – one needs to develop many more skills than just coordination, conversational and technical skills – a deeper understanding of people, where they come from, what is the best that “I” can do for them, how can I play a role in giving them clarity, how can I help organizations with their requirements and assur them of quality of individuals for their organization and much more.

Most of these hiring agents fail to review CVs thoroughly and that’s the worst mistake they do. Another grave mistake [I find this most annoying] is not knowing about the organization they are coordinating for and confusing the candidates totally. When the person is in front of you, prepared to discuss job function, you may end up annoying them or putting them off by saying this oft repeated dialogue, “Ok. Tell me something about yourself” – nothing can be more frustrating than repeating your own CV which you have painstakingly drafted!

Several companies or commercial institutes where I have been, fail to display a genuine simple courtesy or a cordial warm interaction with the candidates.

Here are some pointers that could be helpful for any individual working as or aspiring to work as a placement consultant, working under a hiring agency, working as hiring manager for their own firm or a career guide:

-          Good understanding of the various career opportunities that are there

-          A thorough reading of the candidate’s CV, Resume or Biodata or profile

-          Understand the candidate perfectly by reviewing their profiles, CVs and also interaction with them either in person or a telephonic call

-          Asking the right questions to the cancidates by first reading their profile and marking out areas or jotting down questions that you feel doubtful about

-          Conversing with politeness, respect and humility

-          Showing genuine concern and listening with interest, allowing them to finish what they are sharing – this will help us understand them better

-          Hiring is all about giving yourself the opportunity to understand an individual or an organization’s needs and status in depth

-          Allowing the other person time and opportunity to express themselves clearly and fearlessly

-          Not interrupting them when they are speaking

-          Being prepared with the profiles of both the parties to mediate better

-          Studying profiles and needs of an organization better to have answer questions and concern raised by individuals clearly and confidently

-          Soft skills like: courtesy, valuing their time, humility, politeness, speaking in crisp clear language, not speaking too fast or too slow, asking them if this is a good time to discuss placement [they may be engaged in something more important than your phone call], even if you do not have a job to offer to them that fits with their profile, ask where would they be willing to work and note it down in their profile.

-          A placement coordinator can also help organizations to build up good profile, by understanding their nature of business, work timings, employee strength, departments or sections, market worth,

-          A placement coordinator can help individuals by building up CVs, mention their activities, achievements

-          Once a candidate is in front of you, make sure you have read their CV thoroughly beforehand and are prepared to discuss the job that you are offering, share information about your company and your business, discuss what are the interests of the candidate, what can you offer them and how can they add value to your organization

-          If you are not hiring an individual have the courage and the courtesy to inform them about the same – with firm but polite tone. None of the Indian companies have the guts to do so. This is the most annoying habit of Indians! Refusing to acknowledge a negative feedback from either side and conveying it to the other!

-          Never cross question an individual clearly showing your doubts on them, or offending them – develop instead an attitude of showing appreciation of what they have done in their life. And acknowledging that are as fit to be placed as you are – as a hiring manager.

-          Don’t get too personal with your questions and do not attempt to prod information from them if they are not comfortable. Although you have the liberty to ask questions they have the liberty to answer or not to answer

-          It doesn’t matter what salary they are currently drawing or what is their bank balance. Discuss only what you have to offer to them in terms of remuneration and let them take a call

-          Do not force opinions on them, or corner them; let them feel free to express

-          Do not get into personal conversations or casual gossip; take a formal approach and limit conversations to crisp, précis, brief talks only – related to work

-          Keep your cell phones and other distractions strictly away from you when interacting with the candidate [many times I have rejected jobs for this reason. Remember, candidates are also observing and even judging you]

-          As a hiring manager, you represent the organization. Make sure to cast a good impression on a talented skilled individual who has come to benefit your company

-          Don’t be under the wrong assumption that making a candidate wait for too long is a way to test their patience. It is not. It will only put off a potential employee but also cast negative impression on their minds that will spread to their colleagues. You reduce the chances of talent recruitment by ‘testing patience’ of candidates

-          Always learn to acknowledge, respect an individual even if they do not carry quantitative work experience with them. Remember that there is no such ‘hole’ where under-experienced individuals walk through and come out experienced from. There has to be a beginning and be glad to offer them their first opportunity

-          Be sensitive. Newbies and fresh graduates are confused and under low confidence. Rather than pulling their leg and down-casting them, help them build confidence by offering your guidance, support and few words of motivation. They will remember your ‘gift of words’. Offer them brief, descript stories of your personal experiences

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