First time experience -pleasant - on an online shopping portal - Jewellery!

Hello people and readers, I am back with some more posts for you guys to leisurely read...

Let me share something interesting; interesting because i never had purchased jewellery ever in my life!

I recently purchased fine gold jewellery from Candere – an online jewellery portal. Initially, I was pretty much apprehensive, two reasons: I never purchased jewellery in my life; I never purchased jewellery online. I had to have one or two conversations with the jewellery consulting head at Candere, and I was assured that I can go ahead. I must have evoked their wrath, thanks to my pestering questions; but they patiently explained. Well, once I received my products, I was ecstatic. On Dhanteras this year, I decided to purchase some gold, of minimum value, thanks to my scepticism. But on receiving, I was not only very happy, but also regretted at making such a small value purchase. I could have, with some more prodding, purchased gold of a higher value. But nonetheless, my experience of first time buying from Candere.com was good enough. As a result, I ended up carting few more gold products that I really liked. What’s best, they have the EMI option, very hassle free and simple to understand, because I don’t like complicated stuff…I wish to have a long consumer relationship with Candere. Thanks a lot.

Recruitment and placement agencies - phew!

It is highly disappointing and disapproving to see that recruitment & placement processes have not changed / revised much since ages. They have not undergone changes or improvements. They remain stagnant and show no signs of improvising for the better. No wonder candidates and job seekers don’t feel the excitement and enthusiasm to answer calls from these agencies anymore. It’s not only disappointing but also an annoying waste on time and energy. Well, having said that, let me put down some grave mistakes that these ‘agencies’ might want to reconsider and work upon:

-       “okay, so tell me something about yourself” [oh really!]

-       “I haven’t really read / gone through your CV” [WHY?]

-       “How much were you drawing in your last job” [well, none of your business, really]

-       “What were you doing in your last job” [well, whatever!]

-       “Why did you leave your last job” / “why have you worked for ___ months only in ___ job” [give them a hard stare]

-       Not bothering to offer correct directions to their office, or offering exact directions only once you have reached there, after some hassle.

-       Not bothering to offer any hospitality

-       Asking you to ‘carry a print of your CV’ [where the hell are the eco savers?]

-       Asking you for your last salary slip [phhh – no way!]

-       “You would be required to wait for longer hours on some days” [is this my office or a party]

-       “You will have to work really hard” [oh yeah, will you pay me harder]

-       “can you work under pressure” [yeah man why not, I am a pressure cooker. And what kind of ‘pressure’ really]

-       …….Phew!! 

I shall soon follow this with another write up sharing the positive traits of the agencies and placement processes. Thanks. 

Shivani Sharma

- Writer

Haalo Haalo - The Visual Treat of Navratri

        

Never seen before – the visual feat of Navratri – the original flavour of Gujarat!

“Haalo Haalo”

It was a worthwhile tour to Gujarat – purposefully made – to celebrate one of the greatest festivals in India; also the longest running festival, not just in terms of number of days involved but also the pomp and enthusiasm with which it is celebrated.

It is a visual treat to see the gaudy flash of colours and sparkle all around you and so the excitement on the faces. This is what I concluded: people in Gujarat, really take their festival sincerely and celebrate it whole heartedly too. Not one person is at halt when the music is running aggressively. There has to be non-breakable movement of the neck, the shoulders, the head, the arms, the eyes, the torso, the legs…..you just get carried with the flow!

Days are spent in hard core practice and nights are spent in presenting their acquired talent. The excitement is displayed not just by participants or dancers, but also by those who organize Garba at the various venues spread across the city. There is no less excitement amongst the teams of organizers, as they tirelessly sing and beat the drums in tune with the dancing feet. I found myself absorbing the festival zing even as I stood there, dumbfounded, and awestruck.

People in costumes and get up look really cool…. They look so cute and beautiful. Thin, fat, tall, slim, short, stout, young, old, tiny, huge – descriptions of bodies don’t matter at all! Everyone looks the same in their own costumes – handsome and gorgeous!

“Pankheedaaaa tu udi jaa re Pavagadh re……. pankheedaaaa….. ooo Pankheedaaa….”

Appealing to a messenger-bird to carry the message of my devotion to my beloved Goddess Amba Maa. Yes, this is the only chance to get your prayers heard by your favourite Goddess – Maa Amba or Maa Jagadamba! She will fill your heart and fulfill your desires and wishes. She is pleased, she is happy, she is overwhelmed with emotions. We offer her our prayers through our dance, our expressions; we offer her our love, our devotion! What else can the Goddess ask for!

It is impossible – not to get carried away to the beats of the consistent flow of music and rhythm.

“Pavadi laeine hun to Pavagadh gayi thi… Pavagadh Maa ne mane darshan de…Nahi to mari pavadi paachi de…”

This is the time when the entire Bharat worships female deities in various forms or avataars. It is overwhelming to see Goddess Durga, looking at her devotees - seemingly engrossed in devotion and music, a spring in their feet - with love & compassion in her eyes. She stands gracefully and in elegance looking across at the huge display of colour in front of her, colour that is constantly on the move.  

I am content with my decision to make the trip between the two States and enjoy the festival of the nine nights to the fullest, in its original, unadulterated flavour!

“Chalo chalo re garba ramva…chalo….garba ramva jaiye…poonam ni raat che…sakhiyon no saath che…”

Let me share this visual treat with the readers!

Horrible guys working at recruitment agencies! They need to sit at home!

What a horrible job the so-called recruitment are doing – or, are they really doing any ‘job’?

I have been harassed by these persistent and incessant calls from all sorts of fellows who call themselves recruitment agencies…it is indeed harrowing and annoying. Not only it distracts you from your work on hand, it also leads you away from your work….completely breaking the flow of thoughts.

And once you pick up the phone and talk, it is evident that these callers have either no or very little information which is of use. They will not divulge complete details of the job offer or about their ‘client’ to you…for whatever nonsense reason. Their callousness does not end here. Once they fix you up at a place, they will not even provide complete address and phone number related details to you, fail to mention whom to contact making a complete mess. They will also miscommunicate between the candidate and the organization. They will never give correct and complete information about who is coming for interview, what time, fail to give their CV,

Not only this. When you arrive at a place for a job interview, the interviewer has hardly had any time to go through your profile or place a position for you. And here comes the most disgusting part: “Okay tell me about yourself”! [uuugggghhhh]! What a disaster!

What’s worse: “Please carry a copy of your CV” – give me a break! What age are ‘you’ living in my dear recruiter friend? Ufffff!

They are not willing to reveal about their job profile that they are offering, neither discuss their payscale, neither the profile of their company, nothing! They just keep beating the conversation  around the bush and within minutes you are ready to give up and walk straight out the door.

At times, you start to lose your nerves with your interviewer because they are constantly distracted by one of their colleagues poking their head inside, or the buzz of their cell phones, or some silly ‘reminders’ of their work….the last thing they are interested in is – interviewing you! You feel humiliated and want to run away after yelling at your back, ‘I have rejected this job’…

I have done that on more than once occasions….either of the above reasons have pushed me to reject the offer in front of me. Either I say it on their face or I convey to the agency that coordinated with me. 

A Book will also now experience the JOY of 'giving'

          I just realized that the book I wrote a review about yesterday, is actually associated to a very noble social cause. Known as “#thehelpinghand” it ensures that all the sales-proceeds of the book “Unlock the Power of your Credit Score” are being translated into financial help for poor farmers, who are drowned in debt, are exploited and on the verge of suicide. To help their families break away from the clutches of poverty. Since the book clarifies all about debt and loans, it is only natural that the book contributes the cause of our country's farmers. It is a worthy and commendable cause initiated by the authors and their organization. There is a dire need for such kind of selfless help now especially toward those who are not so fortunate. In the wake of the global disaster that humanity is facing right now, it is a very small step taken, to forward the sales benefits to the poor and needy. We must and we can do a lot more than this. There is really, no joy like the joy of giving to others. And this, is devoid of any self interest or personal agenda. Except for that it brings you [a donor] multi million fold blessings from the one who is receiving and others too.  

              One can never overlook the fact that a farmer is the country's most important human being, they are also fondly known as the "Ann-data" or, the one who provides us our food. Should they not deserve a better life? One is provoked to think and to ponder, why is it that the most hard-working, is living the most un-worthy life? What is it that drives them to think about ending their life? The one who gives lives to others, could be inevitably the most blessed person, cause they receive blessings and feelings of gratefullness from everyone who consumes the grains they grow. 

             We have the opportunity to do good to another human being. Every human deserves a good, peaceful and worth-living life. Those who are blessed with a good life, are being looked upon by the Almighty to extend healing to those who are in pain. Can there be a way to remove pain and suffering?

            It is only 'human' to uplift those who suffer for no fault of theirs. These are the ones who suffer for others. Is it justified? Think about it. 

             Would you also like to add your value to this noble act? Welcome! 

Book Review: Unlock the Power of your Credit Score

Book Review:

Unlock The Power Of Your Credit Score

 - by Aman, Arun & Gaurav

I'd never heard of the word 'credit score' in my life. Interestingly, I happened to come across this book that speaks only about "credit score"; and I had no idea what am I going to actually read about. It was not just the cover that prompted me to read, but also an inquisitiveness that was aluring.....

I opened and began reading, without any expectations, with an open mind. I found the contents to be very useful and even educative. The book educates you about credits, loans and how do people unknowingly, unintentionally default on their loan re-payments. There are several wrong 'assumptions' inside our heads [read: Indians] about things. We continue to live our lives, around these silly 'assumptions'. This book clarifies and demystifies most of the assumptions related to credits and loans. It helps you become a good borrower, knowing that the borrow-lend is an official and operational business in our country! 

I have never taken a loan ever in my life until now, and it is clear that there will be no such "need" even in future! Nonetheless, I cannot ignore the fact that scores of people are servicing loans, credits and paying fixed sums of money for several reasons on monthly basis. [Whatever their 'purpose' may be]. In view of this fact, there are several mainstream and parallel - credit and related - businesses running full scale in India. For eg. the Bureaus, that maintain the massive database of those who indulge in loans, help borrowers and lenders to connect effectively. 

This book, written in a simple, lucrative language, that can be easily percepted by layman, unknown to credit terminology, is a wkipedia of loans and credits. For me, it taught me how never to default on one's payments, how to manage your finances properly, how not to hurt your loan objectives, and a lot more. 

I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in or working with the finances, loans, insurance or credit sectors. This is a book, must-read for all Indians who have ever taken any loan in life or are looking forward to seeking a loan in future.

Thanks.

Shivani Sharma

- Content Writer

Communicate = talk or listen? Or, both!?

Are our conversation skills defined and polished?

When one speaks of or mentions 'communication skills' - have we wondered or questioned them, what exactly does that mean? Talk or listen? that explains the confusion of both the punctuation marks in the title - ! & ?

I am still confused as to what it stands for in others' viewpoint. Everywhere and anywhere, i am confronted with this nasty problem of communication. For whatever reason, our education system or curriculum perhaps doesn't emphasize and hence doens't cover this important aspect of grooming and literacy. it is not just about methods, but also manners. It is not about respect but also dignity. It is not just about confidence but also assertiveness. It is not just about politeness but also simplicity. Well, I can go on endlessly. 

For once, i am glad that i have self-learnt these extremely important, oft ignored skills and in a balanced manner. I have observed both sides of communication - good and bad [or best and worst]. I wasn't too good either, but trained myself, groomed myself, tutored myself and trust me, it was hard work for sure. It took days, hours and years of investment of energy as well as time. But i would say more than that, it was interest and the willingness to learn and not make those mistakes

It is not just verbal but also gestural. It is not just physical but also subtle. It is not just oral but also written. It is not just spoken but also "listening"!! Listening! How can one overlook the signinificance of hearing and listening - which requires energy as well as alertness. Listening is one 'skill' [i would say] that i observed very few people inhabiting and implementing. These are serious issues that need to be addressed to. Evidently, nearly all of our so-called conflicts arise out of not listening properly or not even willing to listen. When we listen, [i follow this "mantra"] we MUST be "SILENT"! Period. There is really no substitute to being silent when we are listening! 

Come to think of it - if we throw away the false egos that we carry and actually listen [even for personal benefit] calcute how much knowledge one would acquire just by listening. Well, let me be very blunt, this will take a lot of ego cruching, but look at it this way - it is my own self-moto driven behind this. When i change my perception toward this, with a turn of the vision handle, and focus it to another point, this is what appears: let me listen to this person or arguement and see if i can learn something for personal benefit; afterall, where do you get free learning! 

This is a cost-free learning. That reminds me - Happy Independence Day readers!!

Happy listening! 

......to continue soon

Medical apathy - billing fraud!

Medical apathy – once again, a case in Bhayandar [fraud in medical billing]

My brother had approached this hospital for the expected treatment of his sick wife, who was down with chronic fever, body ache and typical symptoms of a viral fever. He came back and narrated his experience which appalled me, once again, at the dark intensity of the iron age. The disgust of hospitals, clinics, private practitioners and the whole medical system. Humans are no longer humans in purview of the so-called medical workmen. They are mere ‘objects’! Even though I know this, it’s not new to me, the mal-practices are too much loud to ignore; but still….i was disgusted upon learning of this utterly callous attitude and the seemingly ridiculous practices, so close to my home!

When they [the patients] checked into a 'Manavata Polyclinic', located at Kalpita Building, near NKGSB, Navghar Road, Bhayandar [E], all they hoped was to get well and come out a feeling better, lighter, having gotten rid of the disease that was haunting...All they got instead was a rude nasty shock in the form of the invoice for three days, for about 2-3 hours of admission per day. The planned process was that the patient would be administered doses intravenously and observed for a couple of hours and then discharged – this process was to be repeated for about 3-4 days for betterment. At the end of the second day when my brother asked for the bill, he was shocked in utter confusion. Nonetheless, he came back the next day, demanding explanation from the admin about the charges levied in the bill, upon which he was asked to wait to meet the doctor who was in-charge of the said hospital [a private clinic, too big to be a clinic]. Upon meeting the ‘doctor’, he was informed that these were minimum charges that they would have to pay if he wanted to ‘discharge’ the patient. What they didn’t know was that the person questioning them – my brother – was nothing short of a medical sales representative with years of experience under his belt. At being caught red-handed, the face of the doctor was drained and he tried to cover up. Behaving sheepishly, blushing with sheer embarassment and offense, the so called doctor had nowhere to go. 

This was what happened: for all the doses, syringes, needles, bottles, the clinic had charged upto 250% extra. For eg if a medicine cost 54/- they had billed the same vial for upto 200/-! [sick fellows]. Because we could find out the actual cost of a medicine [here the 54/- vial costs a medical sales person around 24/- lesser], they had to take back their bills. But what if a patient cannot find out actual costs? They would be cheated of their money! What kind of ‘business’ is this that people make out of sickness?? Not only that, for the syringes, needles, and other medicines that were given, the clinic charged a similar 200-250% extra! Even IF the patient comes out rid of the disease, what sense does it make to produce falsified and fake bills?? What kind of high-end facilities or infrastructure is the hospital providing to patients that will alleviate their pain & suffering? Nonsense!

Anyone else in my brother’s place could have easily escalated the matter and charged at the doctor like a bull for false practices! [I doubt at the authenticity of the so called doctor even! Anyway]. When he narrated this to me, little did he know this incident can be documented and made public! The said polyclinic is run by R.P. Palande – medical director [m: 9819250565] and Snehal Palande – ayurvedic doctor.

All that I want to convey through this post is, no matter what happens, no mater how much one suffers, you cannot flow your hard-earned money like this!! Physical suffering + mental harassment + emotional drain can only add up to verbal outburst which is what my brother did, when the doctor tried his best to calm him and ‘mutually settle’ the matter, so his ‘business’ does not get affected. I reprimanded my brother for not creating a ruckus so that all the other patients would be alerted of the mal practice.

We as patients approach a hospital, clinic or a medical professional with the hope that our suffering will be reduced, treated, putting our body and lives at their responsibility! What we don’t know is there are morally porn people who make money and business from corpses and also human shit!

I urge you all – who are reading – to think upon this and make yourselves vigilant and alert and not let these worthless ‘pigs’ suck our money from us! By writing this post, I intend to make people aware, alert and responsible citizens and save their lives and that of their kin. 

Toilet habits impact our work performance and ratings

"Toilet" training [adult learning!]

Imagine you have pressure building up deep inside your body and you are desperate to relive yourself. Your feet will automatically carry you toward the nearest ‘washroom’ [as we like to polish the title of the room – these-days]….but upon reaching there, you are forced to contract your muscles even longer and stress them….why? It is occupied. It is under scheduled cleaning. It is under repair. Not available. Worse still, left dirty by some uncouth user before. Lucky them, unlucky you. Either you must exhaust your bladder or you perform the dirty work yourself, after heartily abusing and cursing them! Now, they are unlucky! After doing the “job”, some may make the effort to hunt down the culprit and give them a piece of shit – from the mind! Yeah, well for a simple task of relieving one’s bladders, one has to slap the hat of an investigator at times on the head!

Would then we like it if someone else curses or abuses us if they fall under a similar situation? Would we like to be at the receiving end of a verbal shit? A curse or an abuse? Then what is stopping us from adopting hygienic, civilized, mannered and clean toilet habits? At home, in public, in office, in a hotel, a lodging, a hostel, shared accommodation, at a family function, anywhere? Don’t you frown and shrink your nose? Cringe? At the ghastly “sight”?

 These “uncouth unlucky despos” are found everywhere, or a circumstance may force you also to become one! Who knows, how ‘desperate’ is your ‘desperacy’? [duh]…once a person is “used” to being clean, couth and hygienic, the person cannot survive in a contrast environment. Microbiology experts claim that the density of pathogenic bacteria found on: cellphones, kitchen platforms, kitchen instruments, kitchen sink, dining areas is several times higher than the pathogens found on th rim of the toilet pot, toilet floor and wash-basin….why? Can we not challenge this theory / claim? Can we not negate this? Higher the presence of pathogens higher the rates of sickness and illness. Higher the intensity of human beings’ unhygienic habits, higher the multiplication and flourish of microbes and pathogens. This is not an under cover information. We all know it. Everyone knows it.

We are practically allowing the filth and dirt visible to our eyes, that which makes us frown, cringe and even has nauseatic effect on us, to enter our bodies, impact our health and disturb our biology. To cause us to fall sick! That which we hate to see, is going inside our body and we are okay with it. We don’t care, do we? We are quite ‘okay’ [read: acceptable] with our own colleagues unknowingly bitching about us candidly! No one knows who the “culprit/s” is/are!

Can we not adopt simple, but crucial hygiene habits? At home, work and other places we visit? Why are public toilets so filthy in our country? Why? If we care to keep our domestic toilet and bath clean, spick and span, why not the office toilets? How would we like it if our organization sacks us or fires us thanks to our unhygienic unhealthy manners? This filth, this dirt, this seemingly disgusting ‘ambiance’ that we ourselves create, gets straight into our heads. Creating the same impact on the mind. The mind impacts our behavior. Our behavior impacts our work. Our organizations monitors only our work, not the activities inside the toilets. But…..!! well!!

These toilet habits impact our performance at work….that which reflects on our CV!! Just imagine!! 

Human ‘resource’ or human ‘Being’??

Changing the outlook of recruitment by changing one’s attitude [intentions]

The role that a recruiting or hiring manager plays in any organization is most crucial. It can be a role essayed out within the organization that hires people or the mediating role of an agent that connects employers and employees. In the East, especially in India, the host and guest concept during recruitment processes is totally camouflaged. There is no hospitability, no warm greetings, no valuing human-individual, et al. Whereas, in the West, a potential employee is treated fairly and with dignity. With value as a human being. I was surprised when I came across an article on LinkedIn pointing out this fact. It is not a cake walk to be a mediator for job placement or to be a hiring agent! There needs to be an immense training and preparation that one needs to give to oneself – understanding of humans, social attitude, the courage to treat another - seemingly unemployed – individual with dignity, respect and fairness. The need to understand requirements, the sharpness to judge and to discern….treating others as valuable beings needs lots of determination & practice. It doesn’t come easily in one’s awareness, no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise.

In the last few months, of all the places I have been as a prospective employee, seeking jobs, or contracts etc. and also having worked as an entrepreneur myself, my sharp observations have taught me a lot! What is the correct way, what is not the correct way, etc. I have treated my clients with the respect due to them – moreso because I value myself – than looking at them as revenue builders for my enterprise. This is what makes the difference – and also pays in the long run; like I said, the attitude to respect comes with practice. Lots of.

Not everyone can be a recruiter or an employer – one needs to develop many more skills than just coordination, conversational and technical skills – a deeper understanding of people, where they come from, what is the best that “I” can do for them, how can I play a role in giving them clarity, how can I help organizations with their requirements and assur them of quality of individuals for their organization and much more.

Most of these hiring agents fail to review CVs thoroughly and that’s the worst mistake they do. Another grave mistake [I find this most annoying] is not knowing about the organization they are coordinating for and confusing the candidates totally. When the person is in front of you, prepared to discuss job function, you may end up annoying them or putting them off by saying this oft repeated dialogue, “Ok. Tell me something about yourself” – nothing can be more frustrating than repeating your own CV which you have painstakingly drafted!

Several companies or commercial institutes where I have been, fail to display a genuine simple courtesy or a cordial warm interaction with the candidates.

Here are some pointers that could be helpful for any individual working as or aspiring to work as a placement consultant, working under a hiring agency, working as hiring manager for their own firm or a career guide:

-          Good understanding of the various career opportunities that are there

-          A thorough reading of the candidate’s CV, Resume or Biodata or profile

-          Understand the candidate perfectly by reviewing their profiles, CVs and also interaction with them either in person or a telephonic call

-          Asking the right questions to the cancidates by first reading their profile and marking out areas or jotting down questions that you feel doubtful about

-          Conversing with politeness, respect and humility

-          Showing genuine concern and listening with interest, allowing them to finish what they are sharing – this will help us understand them better

-          Hiring is all about giving yourself the opportunity to understand an individual or an organization’s needs and status in depth

-          Allowing the other person time and opportunity to express themselves clearly and fearlessly

-          Not interrupting them when they are speaking

-          Being prepared with the profiles of both the parties to mediate better

-          Studying profiles and needs of an organization better to have answer questions and concern raised by individuals clearly and confidently

-          Soft skills like: courtesy, valuing their time, humility, politeness, speaking in crisp clear language, not speaking too fast or too slow, asking them if this is a good time to discuss placement [they may be engaged in something more important than your phone call], even if you do not have a job to offer to them that fits with their profile, ask where would they be willing to work and note it down in their profile.

-          A placement coordinator can also help organizations to build up good profile, by understanding their nature of business, work timings, employee strength, departments or sections, market worth,

-          A placement coordinator can help individuals by building up CVs, mention their activities, achievements

-          Once a candidate is in front of you, make sure you have read their CV thoroughly beforehand and are prepared to discuss the job that you are offering, share information about your company and your business, discuss what are the interests of the candidate, what can you offer them and how can they add value to your organization

-          If you are not hiring an individual have the courage and the courtesy to inform them about the same – with firm but polite tone. None of the Indian companies have the guts to do so. This is the most annoying habit of Indians! Refusing to acknowledge a negative feedback from either side and conveying it to the other!

-          Never cross question an individual clearly showing your doubts on them, or offending them – develop instead an attitude of showing appreciation of what they have done in their life. And acknowledging that are as fit to be placed as you are – as a hiring manager.

-          Don’t get too personal with your questions and do not attempt to prod information from them if they are not comfortable. Although you have the liberty to ask questions they have the liberty to answer or not to answer

-          It doesn’t matter what salary they are currently drawing or what is their bank balance. Discuss only what you have to offer to them in terms of remuneration and let them take a call

-          Do not force opinions on them, or corner them; let them feel free to express

-          Do not get into personal conversations or casual gossip; take a formal approach and limit conversations to crisp, précis, brief talks only – related to work

-          Keep your cell phones and other distractions strictly away from you when interacting with the candidate [many times I have rejected jobs for this reason. Remember, candidates are also observing and even judging you]

-          As a hiring manager, you represent the organization. Make sure to cast a good impression on a talented skilled individual who has come to benefit your company

-          Don’t be under the wrong assumption that making a candidate wait for too long is a way to test their patience. It is not. It will only put off a potential employee but also cast negative impression on their minds that will spread to their colleagues. You reduce the chances of talent recruitment by ‘testing patience’ of candidates

-          Always learn to acknowledge, respect an individual even if they do not carry quantitative work experience with them. Remember that there is no such ‘hole’ where under-experienced individuals walk through and come out experienced from. There has to be a beginning and be glad to offer them their first opportunity

-          Be sensitive. Newbies and fresh graduates are confused and under low confidence. Rather than pulling their leg and down-casting them, help them build confidence by offering your guidance, support and few words of motivation. They will remember your ‘gift of words’. Offer them brief, descript stories of your personal experiences

-           

Can I ‘count’ my blessings’? Really?

I never realized how blessed I am until I actually started ‘counting’ my ‘blessings’. When I look around I see all the pathetic-ness and filth around [filth in mentality and human behaviour] but at the same time when I look within, I feel content, peaceful and happy. Although I may be frowning outside, I smile inside, considering seriously, at how unfortunate those people are and that, they have no idea, [personal and private] how blessed and lucky I am. In a fraction of a second, all my blessings and the love I have received flash swiftly across the screen of my mind and in the next instant, I give back love and gratitude to all those souls. No matter what is happening outside around me, I am peaceful inside.

                At the beginning of my year, when I shared this with my brother, he said to me, to not forget to ‘count’ all my blessings if possible, daily! And be grateful to God for attaching these blessings to me via some souls. It is God’s way of expressing love to me through the medium of these souls. I have been a receiver of love and blessings – consistently…. For whatever reason – for my actions, deeds, my words, my behavior, my thoughts, my expressions, my little acts of kindness, etc….

Did I consider writing a gratitude journal? 

Even if I am unable to write physically, I do write in my mental journal, everyday. 

At the core of the heart, is the basic need for love- to give, to share. This need to express love should not be suppressed, cause when we lose our loved ones, we will always harbor this regret deep down in our hearts, of not expressing, sharing our love and establishing clear communications with them.

Many times, we feel the need to express our feelings correctly and accurately, to be able to establish the best communication to those whom we want to reach out to. We need not be expert writers to achieve this. However, if a person who wants to express, has good writing or communication [read: listening] skills, it definitely is helpful in the need to express. I have always found this useful. Especially while communicating with close ones, dear and near ones, with loved ones. And I have thanked myself for consistently and consciously developing this ‘talent’ or ‘skill’ within me. I always have felt from deep within, that one needs to be very authentic. Original and authentic. Genuine.

Genuine not just in the feelings we harbour, but also in expressing them to the intended recipient. 

Recently, I had the opportunity and the chance to meet one of my very old teachers with whom, I have spent considerable time during early years of my college. She was taking VRS and I got this idea of writing a card for her. Among the several other hand-crafted items I gifted her, my card was the one that touched her the most. She wrote back to me expressing thanks and her happiness. I was surprised. That’s precisely when I realized, that I cannot undermine, the value of what we gift to others or the value of hand made things. They do really have the personal ‘touch’! Yes, I 'touched' it with my own hands with my eyes, with my heart, whatever I made or packed for her. Yes, the thoughts and the quality of thoughts that were running in my mind whilst packing her gifts, are actually transmitted to the person receiving these gifts. I can not under value that! Hmmmm 

Are our teaching and knowledge imparting methods accurate?

The very basic training and learning imparted to students at school level, in itself, is found to be with many faults and flaws. Let me explain: for eg in an English class, they expect the children to attempt exercises of grammar or composition, comprehension & essays etc. right in the first attempt on their own. How is it possible? Considering the widely different backgrounds that the students come from, someone may not even be well versed with English as a language and may get petrified even turn away from such an assignment.

Even for a mathematics session, the concept, has to be taught thoroughly to the class foremost, and only then can you assess their analytic or application skills by giving them problems or summations to solve. Then, in the first case, why the partiality toward English or Literature concepts? 

In the first case, a basic but thorough training must be imparted before even giving an assignment to the students and moreover, considerable time should be spent on imparting this training. That’s precisely what the schools are for! The particular teacher has to have this attitude of making the children learn and then practice, not the other way round. I don’t see a better way than, in which students can learn.

For finding answers to questions given, she needs to train and teach the students – very thoroughly, how to do that, rather than relying on readily available resources like guides, ready-answers, etc. To understand the lesson, the key concepts, the fundamentals, the information, the knowledge and then, attempt to test one’s knowledge or learning or to test one’s skills, to assess the child’s information absorbed so far, is the correct method in my view. One cannot gain any shortcut to teaching methods. No matter what props or tools one may use to teach, if the method is not followed in the correct sequence, the entire learning process will not be effective, the way we want it to be.

In my opinion, the most accurate way to impart education or to teach a child, is, to explain the intended concept very clearly, spend considerable time to do that, and when the teacher is convinced the child has understood what she wanted him to, then their knowledge can be tested. Or their understanding can be assessed. The child needs considerable time to reflect on what he has learnt, process it in his head, grasp it, and understand [a part of it] before he can reproduce the information or before he is ready to be assessed. 

Over the years, gradually, the child will and must learn, imbibe and be apply to use to his benefit, these skills of understanding, analyze and apply the knowledge imparted to him. The teacher, as a knowledge impart-er has a greater responsibility to adopt accurate teaching methods, skills to train, ensure that the child has learnt perfectly, satisfy herself about this before she closes a session. Even if this aim is not achieved in one session or class, it can be extended over to the next one, cause here, time is not the constraint, but the learning and the process of learning is significant; in that, even if fewer concepts are taught, rather that they be learnt thoroughly. If the teacher does not develop an attitude or a keenness to teach, the attitude and intention to learn cannot be developed in the learner - ever. The whole purpose of teaching is nullified then! 

In my case, ever since I have been observing and noticing these trends, i have been making mental notes of what could be the possible correct methods to teach kids at school levels. I do hope i get an opportunity in life to be able to practically use or implement these methods that i have mentally developed and be able to correct what has gone wrong. There can be no cookie-cutter solutions to teaching problems or gaps in the teaching methods, but a newer, different, perhaps better method can be implemented for experimentation at least. 

First Visit to the KalaGhoda Arts Festival [Feb. 2015]

February 2015

As I made up my mind to visit the kalaghoda arts festival I realized, this is going to be my first visit ever , I better be wel informed, have a travel companion, and not venture out on my own. Well, I did get one travel companion – a colleague from my office, who, thankfully was equally keen.

I must say, the KGAF is perhaps the most dis-organized one I have witnessed. They do not have clear indications, sign boards or guiding arrows to direct public from the nearest two important railway stations on the central and western routes. It was quite frustrating, daunting and troublesome to find our way from the churchgate railway station to the venue! Only thanks to the foolish and un-helping people and the local police! Useless fellows! Everyone we asked for directions, ‘allegedly’ either: had no clue, gave a strange look on hearing the name “Kitab Khana”; gave us wrong directions, gave a stupid look!

Anyways, by hook or crook, we finally landed at the “venue”, not the one we seeked- which was KitabKhana to attend sessions on literature. Well, we somehow managed to elbow our way ‘inside’ the enclosure, but to our dismay, most of the people there were doing absolutely nothing or were allegedly loitering around, thanks to the Valentine’s Day fever! Thankfully, it still wasn’t as crowded as expected, being a weekend holiday. Else I kind of half-expected to find the entire city on the streets there. All the youngsters present there were only loitering around, adding to the crowd! [I reckon the KGAF authorities to levy an entrance fee next time onwards – if nothing, it will help sort out the crowd].

Thankfully, my colleague found someone she knew, who was conducting an origami workshop for kids and parents on the approach steps to what looked like an auditorium. Interaction with her fortunately was fruitful, despite attending to so many people, demonstrating paper folds and giving out instructions, was addressing to us as well. What she was doing, looked interesting and appealing and for a moment we were tempted to sit down. But we moved on and tried finding our way to the correct place anyways.

Well, after wasting so much of time, energy [and even money- we paid the cab fare to travel a 1 km distance after being lost!] we finally found the ‘help-desk’ and got hold of the agenda booklet. [Even here, the kids were glued to their useless cell phones, not even looking up from it, forget helping people out]. We found our way to the supposed venue building, hidden slyly behind the enclosure tents; even here we were dismayed that we would have to apparently walk a lot just to reach the buildings! The helpless police also could do nothing more than give us hopeless glances as we asked for shortest way to reach behind the tents. Seemingly they were only looking around at all the activities with bored expressions! [You gotta do something about the boredom disease in the city-it’s really contagious]. Once we reached what was the venue of one of the sessions, we found to our dismay, it just got over, as we were even walking up the steps. It apparently was interesting, at least the host informed us that. She mercifully directed us to another do, about to start shortly, few buildings away, and we hesitatingly dragged ourselves toward it, nonetheless, not wanting to waste time anymore.

It turned out to be a topic we were not even familiar with, but we decided to attend it anyways. There was a famous fashion designer, in discussion with the editor of a fashion magazine, discussing the imperative link between fashion and feminism and its old connectivity. I did participate by sending out a written note on something I had on my mind, connected to feminism and degradation of human values on one side. It was addressed well by both the panelists. I was satisfied, happy to have taken on a topic so crucial.

Leaving this one mid-way, we both headed to the next one of our interest- travel writing. The panel here was bit larger, comprising of five people. Each one, an extensive traveler, or a writer of several travel books. This included a foreigner, who turned out to be much wittier than others. I must appreciate that the panel was carefully chosen and they were making meaningful conversations that appealed to me. This one too, had to be left mid-way for want of reaching home on time. Well, I did learn something meaningful, useful here, and was prompted to find more on the subject, subtly acknowledging that travel writing could be a thing I was seeking for in near future.

Travel writing, as I was listening, I found myself totally engrossed, listening carefully to every word spoken, trying to understand the journey behind each of the faces, it looked very imploring. I was curious to explore and find out each one’s experiences as I knew they had a treasure to share, and I made a mental promise to myself to try and read at least a few books written by each one of them.

Experiences from latest MAdhuban visit in the Avyakt [tapasya] month

My this trip to madhuban was the most meaningful one, thanks to you, thanks to Akka [she doesn’t like being called ‘mataji’ – I didn’t know!] and few other souls! I had the fortune to be present at murli class on 18^th morning at Pandav Bhawan and spend quality time in Baba’s karmabhoomi on the special day and get lost in baba’s memories and baba’s remembrance! Akka informed me just before sleeping on the previous night, that one seat is available in the car and we must leave very early morning! I was thrilled! Not only that, I also had the chance to meet face-to-face, Dada Narayan, at Pandav Bhawan, just before leaving, as he spoke to others.

On 17^th eve, as I sat at Prakash stambh, I was wondering, ‘how fortunate these souls are who have decorated the place with so much love and dedication, wish I was there to only witness how it is done or could extend a hand..’ and I got up with this thought! And lo and behold! As I walked out, a brother called out to me to give some time for sewa! I was dis-oriented for a moment, if this is true! I got the chance to do a bit of sewa at Prakash Stambh! Spending a good 45 minutes there! Can you believe that! My goodness!!

Not only did I get very good accommodation and access to the VIP dining thanks to [a soul] and Bhai, I also got myself a chair-seating at Baba Milan thanks to Pappa bhai [who treats me like a daughter! He is so loving]. I was overwhelmed! Had a very good experience, a very emotional one during baba’s presence there! I could really feel baba with me, baba giving attention to me! Also had a small tea-chat with Ratna Didi [Ratan Dada’s lokik spouse] – she knows me by face; she was in the same accommodation as we were. She is also very loving and sweet.

And when I reached Lotus on 19^th eve, after dropping Akka at airport, we sat down [myself, Bhai and Behn] to discuss the sewa regarding chocolate making for the new building inauguration in February. And then out of the blue, I heard that DJ is expected to arrive any moment! I could not believe my luck! Yes, we waited eagerly for here – although only for a few minutes but I was in her presence! Next morning, after I left [at 4:00 am] she did give drishti and Toli to everyone present before leaving for London! The same night, I also connected with a lovely sister from Ohio, exchanging a beautiful, meaningful and fruitful conversation!

Just trying to count my blessings! To me these small little things make a lot of difference, to you it may sound insignificant, but here, it makes me very happy – just to be myself! 

I am over-blessed…and very very fortunate! I feel so deeply loved! Until now, I ‘assumed’ that it is only I who is so loving, but here, I also received so much of love! Incidentally, just a month ago, we were trying to understand the depths of the efforts that yagya has made for sustaining so many souls [during the IYC retreat] and I was wondering if I can actually experience all of this on baba’s avyakt day! Baba really fulfils every pure wish of the soul!

You know what, after breaking the ice with Akka, we gelled so well! She is very chatty and loving too! She blessed me by saying, ‘you are a very plain hearted, pure soul, your nature is very sweet and loving, just keep it as is’! It is the confidence and faith that Lotus House has on me, that they consider me worthy of such a sewa!

I am so lucky, I met all the Dadis so closely [DRM and DJ at madhuban last month and DG in Mumbai with you all] and also had the confidence of Senior Behn! I don’t think I can count all my blessings and all my fortune! This is so in contrast to what I have been through last whole year!

Thank you, from the deepest of my heart [for making all these things happen] and lots and lots of love to you, with a tight hug! Baba has fulfilled the empty space in my life of a brother and a father ….and of a companion [baba himself]. I did not even know this empty space existed!

Expressing gratitude to service providers instead of simply using the services mindlessly - An act of goodness. Making a difference.

Expressing gratitude to service providers instead of simply using the services mindlessly

-          An act of goodness. Making a difference.

[prompted to write inspired by the video documentary about how amazon and google cares for its sales boys, delivery boys by gifting them customized bike-helmets and head gears]

            What if one of us [service users or consumers] swapped positions with one of those people who provide services to us – like the guy at petrol re-fill station or the parcel delivery boy or mail delivery boy or your maid or the one who just did your facial or your cab driver or the air hostess or the usher in a cinema hall or your daily newspaper delivery boy or your apartment security guard or the cashier at the supermarket? Would we remain un-complained if our acts of services went unnoticed or un-credited? Would we not frown our faces if none of the people who take services from us never even bothered to look at us in our eyes and say a simple sweet word: ‘thank you’; ‘God bless you’? So what? Does it really matter? We are getting paid anyways aren’t we?

            We have got into a habit of almost ‘ignoring’ these people who selflessly [well they are paid] provide different services to us without a complain. We always ‘seem’ to be in such a hurry to finish our mundane tasks, we completely forget to even utter a single word of thanks to these people, failing to realize they make such a difference to our lives. It takes a fraction of a second. Or even a small expression on our face – which will perhaps express our gratitude to them without making the effort to say anything. It will make a difference to them. May be some of them may even ignore or ‘duh’ it away, but for many, a simple thanks will make a big difference. These are serving us, perhaps cause they have no choice. Perhaps they need the money they earn from the few hours of efforts they put in to give us the best services. Some are trained, some are beginners. Perhaps they are not as financially stable as us; perhaps they do not have even basic facilities in their homes like we do. Perhaps they do not have so many choices. But they are forced to work like this.

            I personally feel, it is wrong to ‘assume’ that once they have provided us with their part of the service, for which their recruiter is supposed to train them [and we expecting their perfection] and we have ‘paid’ them with money, its done. The interaction ends there – no it doesn’t. it makes no harm to ask the post mail boy if he needs to have a sip of water, or to ask your driver if everything is okay in his family. Or to check with the pizza delivery boy if he found it too difficult to find your address. Perhaps, it will take away some of their tiredness or pain that they have taken to ensure you get your service as per your demand.

            We may sometimes regret not having expressed our gratitude to those young children who provide us service only after we hear about an unfortunate incident happening to them. But its too late to say thanks. Once we come across an opportunity to thank them, in whatever way, we must not miss it. Some day we may want to be thanked for something we have done for someone [even if with a selfless intent]. It will be an act of goodness on our behalf and bring a smile to their heart if not to their face. It could make a difference to their world. How about this: how happy will they feel, apart from being content, when they collect a thousand thank yous and God bless yous at the end of the day…

            I have made a difference [to my attitude]. Have you?

fromthechokl8diaries.blogspot.in

            

“Mouth watering RASA chocolates in lemon and vanilla”

My latest chocolate experiments: January 2015

“Mouth watering RASA chocolates in lemon and vanilla”

I procured some chocolate [freeze-stable] compound paste from my vendor as a Christmas gift and was eagerly waiting to try that – incorporate into my products. Once I got the opportunity to, it was a hushed-hushed thing. I had to prepare a few trays in a short time. [There were guests coming next day and I had to visit someone; pack few boxes for them]. I also had with me as an ingredient, a few essences in oil base which when infused into the paste, gave amazing ready-fillings. And then flavours like lemon, mint and orange go extremely well with dark chocolate for whatever reason. But yes, it is a challenge to even make the filling with some of these essences, due to disparity in their chemical compositions [no matter how user-friendly or compatible they may be], temperatures of the ingredients when mixing, weather conditions and speed of working with these fat based products – which depends largely on the expertise of the chocolatier. Well, here, this definitely was a challenge for me, especially because I was in a bit of hurry that day and also had to pack several pieces of moulded chocolates, once done.

Once I added the fillings [the cavity-cone method of course], I decided to add some berries also. The red berries, since my blueberries were on their way still J. When I did that, they turned out awesome [like really mouth-watering]….ohhhhh yummm!! The next thing to experiment was: I had a tin of ‘milk-maid’ or condensed, sweetened milk; to which I added two of the oil essences I had and infused in the cavities…There I was- made my own fillings combining the ingredients! Wow! That was a wonder! Now I feel like I am the creator for all my ingredients for chocolates!

Now whilst wrapping those, it so happened that one of the poor chocolates collapsed, spilling out all the inside RASA [juices in Telugu]. In instantly picked it up and dolled it inside my eager mouth! Lo! I was lost in its flavour! So it is! This was my best RASAs. Last month, when I was at Hyderabad, doing a chocolate demo, my audience said that they are familiar with the method of moulded chocolates. But when they watched me roasting, spicing and fat-coating my dry fruits, that’s when they were amazed and said, ‘now this is something new for us’…that’s what gives me the satisfaction. Of having taught them something different, of adding to their knowledge. The glow on their faces when they learn something new from me!

Not only this, I also tried different styles of wrapping and came up with what looked most royal. Even if it means I have to spend an extra minute on each piece; but if it looks royal and decent, why not. Then the effort is worth it. It gives the look of an internationally procured or a branded chocolate to the finishing.

Coming up: RCD [keep guessing….!]

fromthechokl8diaries.blogspot.in

Expressing gratitude to service providers instead of simply using the services mindlessly

Expressing gratitude to service providers instead of simply using the services mindlessly

-          An act of goodness. Making a difference.

[prompted to write inspired by the video documentary about how amazon and google cares for its sales boys, delivery boys by gifting them customized bike-helmets and head gears]

            What if one of us [service users or consumers] swapped positions with one of those people who provide services to us – like the guy at petrol re-fill station or the parcel delivery boy or mail delivery boy or your maid or the one who just did your facial or your cab driver or the air hostess or the usher in a cinema hall or your daily newspaper delivery boy or your apartment security guard or the cashier at the supermarket? Would we remain un-complained if our acts of services went unnoticed or un-credited? Would we not frown our faces if none of the people who take services from us never even bothered to look at us in our eyes and say a simple sweet word: ‘thank you’; ‘God bless you’? So what? Does it really matter? We are getting paid anyways aren’t we?

            We have got into a habit of almost ‘ignoring’ these people who selflessly [well they are paid] provide different services to us without a complain. We always ‘seem’ to be in such a hurry to finish our mundane tasks, we completely forget to even utter a single word of thanks to these people, failing to realize they make such a difference to our lives. It takes a fraction of a second. Or even a small expression on our face – which will perhaps express our gratitude to them without making the effort to say anything. It will make a difference to them. May be some of them may even ignore or ‘duh’ it away, but for many, a simple thanks will make a big difference. These are serving us, perhaps cause they have no choice. Perhaps they need the money they earn from the few hours of efforts they put in to give us the best services. Some are trained, some are beginners. Perhaps they are not as financially stable as us; perhaps they do not have even basic facilities in their homes like we do. Perhaps they do not have so many choices. But they are forced to work like this.

            I personally feel, it is wrong to ‘assume’ that once they have provided us with their part of the service, for which their recruiter is supposed to train them [and we expecting their perfection] and we have ‘paid’ them with money, its done. The interaction ends there – no it doesn’t. it makes no harm to ask the post mail boy if he needs to have a sip of water, or to ask your driver if everything is okay in his family. Or to check with the pizza delivery boy if he found it too difficult to find your address. Perhaps, it will take away some of their tiredness or pain that they have taken to ensure you get your service as per your demand.

            We may sometimes regret not having expressed our gratitude to those young children who provide us service only after we hear about an unfortunate incident happening to them. But its too late to say thanks. Once we come across an opportunity to thank them, in whatever way, we must not miss it. Some day we may want to be thanked for something we have done for someone [even if with a selfless intent]. It will be an act of goodness on our behalf and bring a smile to their heart if not to their face. It could make a difference to their world. How about this: how happy will they feel, apart from being content, when they collect a thousand thank yous and God bless yous at the end of the day…

            I have made a difference [to my attitude]. Have you?

fromthechokl8diaries.blogspot.in

            

The pleasures of cooking for the self [inspirations from Nigella Lawson]

January 2015

Well, I do love to cook for myself, no doubt on that. Cause, I enjoy the freedom to plan my recipes as

per my wish and will. No one to disturb, no one to interfere, no one to instruct or peep in...so, I love that non-
dependency. It is more enjoyable, not only that, I also am better focused on my task, am much faster in my

movement, more efficient. Also, I can experiment – meaning, I can try something off beat from the ‘normal’

procedures that momy uses. I can try new tasks, new methods to execute the same mundane tasks, I can sing

and dance while I cook. I am in complete control of what I do. In charge! And yes, charged up. I am high on

energy levels. And yes, I do make sure I maintain an energetic ambiance while cooking. I am aware of who I

am cooking for! My intention is clear.

And then once the cooking is done, I silently enjoy the pleasure of my food! Wow! Now that is one

blissful experience. But nonetheless, it doesn’t matter if I have someone apart from me to share my food. I am

quite accommodating. Actually, this idea is a relief break from the mundane belief that one must [read a

woman must] only cook for others, for her family. Once cooking is done I ensure that I offer part of it in a

specialized format to our Creator. It not only makes a connection, also gives very powerful pure vibes to the

food, nullifying the effects of any ill intentions, or bad impacts or weak, negative vibes that may have come into

the food from anywhere.

My recent experiments in the kitchen includes trying to cook my veggies and even pulao in an

unconventional way. After heating and melting the fat, instead of directly adding the spices, I add the chopped

veggies, tomato puree [if it’s a part of the recipe], potatoes, and any other part of the veggies. Cook it in the fat

for a while, cover the pot and simmer cook the veggies. Then, a few minutes before turning off the heat, I add

two pinches of a spice-mix that I have meant for vegetable preparations. The taste completely changes with

this method! I tried first with a small batch of cauliflower and it worked! A welcome change of taste. And then I

continued using the same method for all other veggies irrespective of what it was. I began liking food prepared

with this new method. Once in a while, I do break the conventional methods and experiment with new things.

Recently, I hosted Sunday brunch for two of my brothers who were visiting Bombay from different

cities. I was happy and excited, wanting to be completely in-charge of the kitchen, the menu, preparations,

hospitality, everything! There was a lot of love, pure feeling, clear intentions and bonding! And so I did not

allow anyone at home to make any changes to my plans or contribute anywhere to my cooking preparations.

My menu included: Chholey, Matar-Pulao, Stuffed Parathas, Buttermilk, Fruit and veggie – salad, coconut-
chutney and momy-made dhokla [fermented & steamed small square cakes made with suji & curd]. I already

had some preparations night before; and few additional preps the same day early morning before leaving

for my meetings. Such that, once I return with my brothers in tow, I can finish my cooking asap. I thoroughly

enjoyed the process. Although there is one regret that I have – I was unable to monitor servings, or even

watch the expressions as they enjoyed my lunch and couldn’t spend quality time at the dining. But I know, they

completely enjoyed my lunch prepared with a lot of love and affection.

The menu, the items, their taste, the process, the combination of food, don’t matter as much as the

feeling with which the food is prepared. And served. And consumed!

Food, they say is a medium of bonding and connections between humans. Now I know...